Response to Hanna's Post: 10/19/10

These readings for today really were eye-opening in that they both took something I feel all women are used to - pressure to be thin and menstrual issues, respectively - and actually came out and said that these expectations and claims made by society are ridiculous. I really identified with the Douglas reading because I feel the societal pressure to be thin all the time even if it is not a conscious awareness; I'm quite a petite girl at 5'2" and about 115 lbs, most of which is muscle because I was an avid runner and dancer in high school. My mom always asks me if I'm watching my weight and my eating habits, which upsets me because I know I'm maintaining a healthy weight and I try to eat healthfully as much as I can. I feel that by her asking all the time, she is afraid that she is going to end up with a fat - and thus undesirable - daughter, that she wouldn't be as proud of me if I was overweight. I feel as though I have already proved to her that I am capable of watching my weight and eating since I have never been obese or overweight (according to my doctor). So why she does have to continually check up on me? Is she that afraid of having a fat daughter? Would she be ashamed of me if I went up a size or maybe two? I'm usually a size 3 or 5 in jeans, but when I have to get a 7 in particular brands, she just gives me this look that says "Uh oh, that is a size bigger than what you usually get." Then she'll ask me if I've gained weight. It is so frustrating because I actually feel relatively confident in my size and my looks after going through major self-esteem issues in high school to the point that I needed therapy; I bounced back from that dark time in my life to become a woman who is constantly working on accepting herself and making peace with her looks and personality. For example, I have never dieted or even considered cosmetic surgery and never plan to. I feel that dieting when you're already at a healthy weight has no point - why expend all that energy and time and frustration to lose another three pounds? Plus I like food way too much to deny myself when I know I don't have to. I also detest fakeness in anything - people, science, advertising, politics, etc. - so I find unnecessary cosmetic surgery to be shallow. I want people to see the real me, which did not come with silicon boobs, a completely straight nose, and no cellulite whatsoever. Since I know what is like to be on both sides - confident and extremely self-conscious - I intimately understand what Douglas was talking about.