I found these readings very interesting because I remembered times when I didn't know if a person was a man or a woman and it made me feel very uncomfortable. I didn't like feeling uncomfortable because I felt that it was disrespectful of me, that I was mentally insulting this other person even if I didn't say anything - why should I feel so uncomfortable and unsure what to do when I proclaim that I am a tolerant human being and accept everyone? Am I a hypocrite? I'd like to think that I am open to all people and that identification is a personal journey and understanding, but it's during those moments that my programming by society automatically resurfaces. I have been trained to view male and female are separate, different entities that never, ever cross because if they do, the product is abnormal and does not belong. I would like to believe that I am working to overcome my programming because I think that life and people cannot and should not pigeonholed into distinct categories because that is not how real life and people work.
I thought that the comments by Myrhe about how people, both men and women, have to put work into looking female, which supports the conclusion that "female" is not anatomically determined, but rather determined on how much effort is expended to look female. I know friends of mine that literally spend hours on their hair and makeup every day; they straighten their hair religiously, cannot leave the house without at least cover-up and mascara on, or refuse to wear a skirt without shaving their legs first. I distinctly remember one friend who would straighten her hair until it was poker straight, which would take her an hour to ninety minutes everyday before school; instead of sleeping, she would get up at 5 in the morning to straighten her curly hair for an hour. Sometimes it seems like they are a slave to their routine, like they subscribe to some creepy cult that brainwashes you into thinking that it is a sin to not have lipgloss on you at all times. I, on the other hand, usually spend very little time on my appearance. My hair cannot be tamed, so I just let it do whatever it wants because it's just easier that way; I like sleep way more than waking up early to do my makeup; and I don't bother shaving that often because soon I'll just be wearing sweatpants all the time because it will be cold and no one is going to be touching my legs anyway. I like being free of that routine for most of the time (I do put on makeup if I "have to" for a party or a special event) because I have more time for other "more important" things like homework, hanging out with friends, eating a good breakfast, taking a shower. I like feeling comfortable to go out in public with no make up on unlike other girls. I like feeling just fine in a tee and sweatpants without feeling the pressure that I should look cute all the time or that I should be wearing a nice top and skirt. But am I less of a woman in others' eyes because of my refusal to spend hours on my appearance?
I find it very interesting that you mention how seeing androgynous individuals on the street makes you feel uncomfortable. During our discussion of intersex individuals, Brittany and I actually also were talking about how the topic made us feel a bit uneasy. I think in part it is due to the fact that part of the existence of intersex individuals makes me feel grateful for my own life, which in turn makes me feel a bit guilty. I feel as though I have taken for granted how easily I fit into the norms of society with regards to sex and gender and often don't think about how many people in the world do not.
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